In Defense of Elphaba’s Sex Cardigan in (& Blushing While Watching) “As Long As You’re Mine”
SPOILERS. I’ve seen Wicked For Good five times in theaters (probably more by the time you’re reading this, and exponentially more times if they’ve made it available to download) specifically to rewatch Elphaba and Fiyero’s duet, “As Long As You’re Mine”. I saw it during a Wicked double feature the day before Wicked For Good officially hit theaters and still have not touched grass. I am hashtag obsessulated. Since I was primed and emotional from the first film’s ending, by the time I got to this love scene, my emotions were ashambled.
From the moment Fiyero removed Elphaba’s cape, my mouth was agape and I was aghast and agog. And when the suspenders came off? I’ve never seen an actor whose forehead-to-toe angles give Disney Prince the way Johnathan Bailey’s angles do. And Elphaba’s quick-change into the sex cardigan with the updo was giving literal love nest chic, because the cardi looked exactly like it was magically woven in a human-sized nest, by an airborne witch. And I live for the modest lace cami and shorts, because Elphaba lives in a tree, but she’s a Throp, honey, and grew up wearing the finest of frocks and lace tights. Dolce Bear raised a demure, girlie girl, okay? Honestly? I love that they kept it cute and PG for the younger viewers. I’m skipping past the high note because I’m too embarrassed to speak on my ridiculous reaction to it. No I'm not. Suffice it to say that I loved it? What is it…like, why do we like men hitting high notes? Humans are so weird.
Back to Johnathan Bailey— yowza. His micro-facial expressions— everything that happened on his face when he sang the line “Somehow I’ve fallen under your spell” (ON HIS KNEES?!) should be studied.
And the little cat and mouse moment when Elphaba kinda runs away and Fiyero gives a little chase, like, come here? I was sent. That wide shot of them levitating? I want the poster. And the way they landed on their knees and he checked on her and she told him exactly how she was feeling? The care and unashamed communication of it all! That moment catapulted me back in time to middle school and the first time I saw the love scene between Baby and Johnny in Dirty Dancing on TV and blushed and lost a little innocence and felt let-in on a great life mystery and realized that that mysteriously dreamy love-dance was gonna happen to me one day and another part of my adolescent internal life opened up. That was actually my YA author origin story— you’ll see this level of sweet, age-appropriate carnal innocence in the love scenes I write in Finding Jupiter and my forthcoming novel. I know Elphaba and Fiyero are in their twenties, but it’s their first time together. Baby, the way I swooned? I was twelve in that movie theater just blushing.
XO, Kel 🫶🏾
P.S. Wicked For Good came out during my social media hiatus, so I can’t post this over there, but some time in March, I’ll link this to an Instagram post and we can have a Kiki over there. Do people still say let’s have a kiki?
P.P.S. Poor Boq. Somebody write a fan fiction where Glinda finds a Grimmirie spell to give him a mechanical heart so he can love her and they get their own sexless happily ever after like Elphaba and Fiyero.